Which movie monster can you take in a fistfight?

The body of Megan Fox Jennifer

Image via Flim.ai

You wake up in a cold sweat, but the nightmare is not over yet. You are trapped in a horror movie and the only way out is to go through the monster. All you have for a gun are your fists.

Here at We Got This Covered, there are some tough writers who can do more than write angrily on keyboards. Depending on the monster, we think we may actually have a reasonable chance of getting out of these movies alive. This brings up the real question: which movie monster could we take on in a fist fight? Here’s what some WGTC employees had to say about it.

Tristyn Akbas vs. Chucky (Child’s play)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjiyV8mtXiU

When you think of monsters that you can take on easily in combat, Chucky comes to mind easily. Little doll with Child’s play, a 1988 movie directed by Tom Holland, was possessed by the soul of serial killer Charles Lee Ray, played by Brad Dourif. Chucky is a doll again, at best he would come up to your knee.

The only reason you may not be able to take it into a fistfight is because it’s too short to strike, so you’d kick a little demon into oblivion. Even he knows his options, resorting to persecuting a child, not an adult. Put any idle adult in front of you, and he won’t last more than two minutes. He’d end up looking like one of Sid’s toys Toy.

Tristyn Akbas

Christian Bone vs Aliens (The signs)

Most of the game, the aliens from the alien invasion movie by M. Night Shyamalan, The signs, seem to be formidable opponents due to the way they are kept in the shadows and considered much more intelligent and advanced than our own race. But the end of the twist, one of Shyamalan’s most famous shows, shows how easy it would be to take a fight. Spoilers on the way … they’re fatally allergic to water. All you need to face one of them is Super Soaker, and you’d be laughing like M. Night on his way to the bank after getting us to watch another of his movies.

Christian bone

Misty Contreras vs. Abner Devereaux (A kiss meets the phantom of the park)

Abner Devereaux was the worst sport in the world KISS Meets The Phantom of the Park. I mean, seriously, what was his opinion against KISS? If you think about it, a band with such a big name would bring the park a lot of money. Where is your team spirit, Devereaux? Thanks to little Abner, we got to see the team fight the animatronic versions of themselves, it’s pretty cool. But it was just rude when he kidnapped Melissa’s boyfriend Sam and made him his bitch. And in the end Devereaux was defeated, but I would have ripped that resistor out of Sam’s neck, installed it in Devereaux, and had him clean my pantry.

Foggy Contreras

Jonathon Greenall vs. Audrey II (Little horror store)

Sure, Mean Green Mother From Outer Space sings a big game, but when it comes to one-on-one combat, they’re at a very disadvantage. Sure, they have a lot of strong mustaches, but the lack of legs and big heads means they can’t defend themselves easily, so I just have to run in a swing. Eventually I will.

Plus, I’m a millennial living in an apartment, so I naturally kill every houseplant I come into contact with anyway, and what is Audrey II if not a huge chance to show why I shouldn’t be allowed to have indoor plants?

Moreover, in the movie Audrey II, she lost to Rick Moranis, the patron saint of quirky white people, which means that the historical precedent is in my favor.

Jonathon Greenall

Taylor Mansfield vs. Ghostface (Scream)

While supernatural beings in horror are a more difficult choice to face physically in a brawl, there are other ghoulish characters that are much easier to engage in battle – and that would be the infamous Ghostface killer for a long time. Scream franchise. So when the decision was made to choose an easy-to-take killer in combat, Ghostface’s persona seemed like a reasonable choice.

While Ghostface may seem like an unstoppable force, the killers who don the iconic black and white mask are actually weak. In the franchise films, the killers relied on sneaking up behind their victims to attack them, rather than fighting them one-on-one, which only proves that even they knew they couldn’t win the fight. Aside from being sneaky, Ghostface’s killers are weak bullies that can be easily ignited. I mean, come on, the old lady even used the Ghostface identity, which really tells you all you need to know.

Taylor Mansfield

Cody Raschella vs. Lotso (Toy history 3)

Okay, hear me out. A life-size lotso would be terrifying. Think of it as a practically blurry version of Kingpin. Imagine how much he can bench press? One swipe of that oversized paw and bam! you are thrown across the room and slide down the wall. If you were trapped in Sunnyside Nursery with Woody and the rest of Andy’s toys inside Toy history 3 and suddenly realized you are hostage to a life-size clouded pink teddy bear who is determined to throw you in a can and munch into recycled pieces, you would get scared too, don’t lie. That being said, we think you’ll still be able to beat him in a fist fight.

Okay, the first thing you do is make him cry. No, seriously, when you mention his former owner, Daisy – the one who dumped him, you know – she’s finished. You then hire Slinek to wrap his coils around Lotso’s legs and ka-pow! falls to the ground. Here’s where you want to kill. Not that you need backup, but if Buzz is around, call for him to pin Lotso’s shoulders. Now you have uninterrupted access to as many hits as it takes to defeat him.

Here you are.

Cody Raschella

Charlotte Simmons vs. Charlotte Tethered (Us)

Which makes my tether counterpart from Jordan Peele’s Us the ideal opponent is that I wouldn’t have to think about it too much. According to all accounts, this is as fair a duel as possible. All I had to do was be a little better that day. The Wilsons were largely overwhelmed by the initial lack of the killer instinct present in their counterparts, a mistake I could avoid now if I ever had to prepare for such a fight.

Moreover, if we understand tethered as the deepest, twisted version of ourselves then I can imagine my counterpart being forever glued to a Disney Plus queue filled with nothing but Zootopiawhose original release coincided with a time when I fell in love with movies as a whole. Indeed, since they would have devoured their Nth watching of the plight of Judy Hopps, they would never see me coming.

Charlotte Simmons

Francisca Tinoco vs. Jean Jacket (NOT)

Here’s the thing where defeating Jean Jacket, while actually engaging in physical violence, would be an immediate recipe to kick the butt all the way to next Halloween. It’s true that I am not the bravest soldier when it comes to surviving the terrifying monsters of horror movies. Most of the time, I try to stay away from them, probably not tuning in to any other movie on this list. However, I cannot resist the good Jordan Peele, and others NOTPeele depicts a human-eating alien that at least gives me a fair chance of survival. All I have to do is avoid eye contact (where being a woman on planet Earth gave me a ton of practice) and figure out a way to make something incredibly killer look tasty enough to eat. It’s basically a McDonald’s meal, so how difficult can it be? I think I would be okay.

Francis Tinoco

Matt Tuck vs. Old Man Michael Myers (Halloween 2018)

He is the face of slashers around the world and his haunting theme music is the staple of horror and Halloween.

Michael Myers is arguably the most famous movie monster of the last 50 years, and the latest Blumhouse movies have given him a new generation of fans (well, maybe not Halloween is over…).

Coming back to the first of the latest trilogy, Michael has been locked up in a mental hospital since the events of the first 1978 film. He was then supposedly 21 years old. This makes him the 61st at the time of the 2018 reboot / follow-up. At the time, he was limited to a very limited space to move around as we saw at the beginning of the film when a modified William Shatner Michael mask is flaunted in front of him. This unleashes his unexplained superpowers and another killing spree continues (because slashers have to slash, I suppose).

Removal of all superpowers, after 40 years imprisoned in a small space where there was no exercise, his muscles would atrophy. I imagine that given its size, just moving such a large body would be quite exhausting for someone with almost no muscle mass. This makes Michael virtually vulnerable.

Matt Tuck

Chynna Wilkinson vs. John Kramer (He has seen)

He has seen Lovers – and horror fanatics – know Jigsaw’s infamous killer John Kramer. There are three people who are synonymous with the Jigsaw nickname: John Kramer, Amanda Young, and Mark Hoffman, but the former is responsible for imagining the “live or die” mentality that underlies Jigsaw’s modus operandi. When we, the WGTC staff, were asked to choose a movie monster to face in a fistfight, it didn’t take long before John Kramer came to mind. It could be argued that his method in madness is far more impressive than the man himself. If we ever met in a parking lot, it would only take a few right hooks to black out; Tobin Bell is 80 years old and Kramer is not far behind. Plus, the dude has cancer. Come on.

Chynna Wilkinson

Staci White vs. Jennifer Check (Jennifer’s body)

Can I take Jennifer Check in a fistfight after I became a succubus? No, probably not. When he becomes a human-eating monster with a dislocated jaw, the chances are against me. Needy couldn’t beat her, and she had a lot more motivation than me. But I think I could take her away before the transformation, though honestly, I’d just rather we just run away together instead.

Staci White

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